Disconnected
- By Tarnie Fulloon
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- 18 Jul, 2018
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“You have dominion over your life and you can choose to have a healthy one”
“Somatic intelligence, or embodied leadership (how you lead your own life), is key”
“Stress, anxiety, depression…is rampant in our society and in our corporations.”
“There is nothing exciting or inspirational about addressing mental/emotional health”
“How do we address the toxic social pollution?”
These are just some of the things I heard recently at the FEMMEQ summit this past June in Los Angeles, CA. This summit was about advocating the necessity of bringing the qualities of compassion, deep listening, intuition, and inclusivity (amongst other elements of the feminine intelligence) to overcome the challenges of our time. There is a deep need for activating this intelligence, into business, politics, peace negotiations, and into our personal lives.
This conference resonated with me because what I heard that is happening at the corporate and business level is what I have been doing with my clients on a personal level. Bottom line, there is a disconnect from authentic expression, from a willingness to be vulnerable, and sharing what is true.
The feeling of fear and separation keeps this disconnection alive, leading to anxiety and depression (which are on a significant rise, as is suicide). This disconnect is then reflected in the body: as body pain, digestive issues, diseases, even bone breaks. An interesting statistic is that lower back pain is the second most common reason for seeking medical attention, and often related to stress.
There are too many suffering, and it has become a critical conversation. As one of the speakers at the event, an ex-global vice president for human resources in a large multinational company can attest to. This gentleman was speaking of the need for greater awareness around mental/emotional health and the shift of consciousness that is needed in corporations and with individuals. He stressed how corporations need to transform their idea of measuring productivity and success to include awareness for mental/emotional measurements.
His told of his personal story, how he woke up one morning at 2am with a full-blown panic attack that came from a total overload of stress, expectations and measurements of productivity that were pushing him and required by his organization. He went on to say the only reason he is alive today (and not having committed suicide like a friend and other colleagues he knew of) is because he had a support system. He sought help and he started telling his story. He attributes his healing to his courage to be vulnerable, to speak what was going on for him internally and from the love of his family. He said he is alive today because of love. Being loved, feeling loved, knowing love and learning to love in return.
Today he is an advocate for creating more humane workplaces that are aligned with taking care of the whole person with more focus on mental/emotional health and wellbeing.
This is where the principles of the feminine (which includes basic human respect) come into play in both our personal lives, our homes, our work places, and even in politics and governments.
Things to consider are:
- Conscious leadership – it is a choice. Let whoever you lead or are in charge of (at home, at work, yourself) know you have their back, that you are creating a safe space for them, that you care.
- Create environments where you can ask for help, or be more vulnerable rather than suffering in silence. Address the toxic social pollution around you.
- Be authentic – be real, say what you feel in a kind and aware way (not in a reactionary way).
- Listen – to yourself and to others.
(rather than project what you think they need)
One of my clients, a young vibrant 30-year-old women complained of shoulder muscle tightness that was constantly contracted and never relaxed regardless of what treatment she sought. She also suffered from headaches and previously had experienced panic attacks and anxiety a little earlier in her life but had “buckled up” and “pushed through by keeping busy and active”. The feedback she received from family and friends was that she keeps emotionally closed and tight although enthusiastic, energetic, a doer, you can count on her to be there, and was considered a good friend. At work, she found she was not being appreciated or acknowledged for her skills and expertise and in her life she was not finding a relationship that worked.
Through my BodyFreedom™ Embodiment Process, working with the tight shoulder area she discovered a place in her body that was closed. A place in her chest. She revealed during the process that she holds the role in her family (and at work) where she feels she has to be the rock, the stable one, the one that “holds it all together “, the responsible one, and there has been no room for her to share her vulnerability. She did not feel anyone was there for her to lean on.
She was suffering in silence. She did not know who to ask for help. Underneath the rock in her chest was a very vulnerable, sad, lonely self that felt unseen, unheard, and unloved. Just like the speaker from FEMMEQ.
Without any massage, or manual therapy or exercises to stretch the muscles – all of what she has tried in the past – using the BodyFreedom™ Embodiment Process the muscles relaxed and after one session she was in less pain, the muscles were significantly released of tension and she felt an opening to herself she had not felt before.
By giving voice to her “rock self” inside her chest, by being vulnerable, by telling her story, she was able to release what she was holding in her body.
There is a need to do our inner work and shift consciousness, and to then take this into action and change our systems and structure. This is about including the whole person and not seeing the qualities of being vulnerable, compassionate, understanding or empathetic as weak.
So here is what you can do:
- Tell your story – be willing to be vulnerable, stop suffering in silence and holding it all in. Find someone to share something you are holding onto inside, ask them to listen and not give advice.
- Get educated – find out about what inner beliefs you hold, how to improve your emotional intelligence, how to become more embodied (living in your body, not just your mind).
- Experience what it means to be more connected to your inner self and to your inner truth.
- Be an advocate for mental/emotional/well-being health at work, in the home, and within yourself.
Wishing you a self – inspired month.
With love,
PS: if you would like help with anything I have written about above, to untangling blocks and releasing the information held in your body please reach out – CLICK HERE!

Committing to yourself can be challenging, especially it feels like a burden or an obligation. It can also feel more like a trap than a choice, but as Paulo Coelho states in The Zahir: “Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose – and commit myself to – what is best for me.”
Committing to oneself requires resolve and inner strength. If you want to get more out of your life, and to feel the freedom that is available, it's important to understand what true commitment is, and how to activate it.
For most of us it’s easier to commit to others, to turn up for others and be there for others, but not for ourselves in the same dedicated way. I had a client recently that had a session booked with me, that he missed. Why? Because he was gifting his time to someone else, for many more hours than he had originally offered. The result was a significant increase in his pain. He didn’t keep his commitment to himself, he did not set a boundary on his own time, and he made someone else more important than himself.
Does any of this sound familiar? Do you push your own needs back, or forget about them , for the benefit of someone else?
We are often raised to prioritize duty and service for taking care of others first. When we get to a point where we should do something meaningful for ourselves, we can come up against resistance in activating our commitment. You may feel selfish, guilty, not important enough, or totally forget about taking care of yourself to do what you promised yourself to do.
What does it feel like when you haven't been true to yourself? You've said yes when you wanted to say No! Or you did something you really don't feel good about, just to please someone else. Or you didn’t follow through on a commitment you made, such as to: not eat that sweet dessert, or do the walk you planned, or ask for help.
When you are able to activate the commitment you have made, it aligns you with your inner truth and to yourself emotionally and psychologically.Committing to yourself is empowering, it is self-support, and it connects you to your inner strength. It means you are listening to and following your inner guidance.
When committing to yourself, you:
- become more intentional in your life and decision-making
- develop loving honesty with yourself
- pursue efforts that support and uplift you
- feel more confident and achieve more with ease
- have more presence, calm, and loving acceptance for yourself
Activating a commitment shows how much you value yourself. It also demonstrates that:
- You value yourself
- You respect yourself
- You appreciate your life
- You feel worthy
- You love yourself
Take a few minutes to think about your commitment level to yourself.
What commitment have you made that you need to activate today?
Where do you feel that in your body?
How to you hold commitment inside of you, other than in your head?
How can you ground in that commitment in your body NOW!
To your health & well-being,
Do you ever feel like there is an internal struggle going on inside of yourself? You're trying to move forward but feel some kind of block? As if there is a constant push/pull that you cannot get away from making you want to yell "ENOUGH!!"
Did you know that there is a place inside of you where peace , calm and quiet await you, far from the confusion and chaos of your struggles. A place where you can rest , sink in and feel relief.
Finding this place initially is challenging mostly because we are unaware of its existence.
As you discover and bring awareness to this place inside you will get a sense of something deeper …. you start to awaken to your inner wisdom.
This awakening starts by feeling beyond the struggle of the ‘selves’…. inviting the wisdom and intelligence of the body to “speak”.
Awakening by definition means: to become more aware of; to attend to that which nurtures you; to connect to spirit, to the sacred, to your inner self; to expand into something beyond your present consciousness.
Did you know that by harboring feelings such as guilt, shame, anger, regret, disappointment, blame to name a few, affects your emotional, mental and physical health deeply.
On Conversations Connecting to a Healthier You podcast with Debi Carlyn Boyle, I discuss Self Forgiveness and the power of its healing ability. I take you through the steps that will allow you to work your own process of releasing emotions that are caught in your body causing you pain.
Here are some interesting things about stored, unwanted emotions in the body:
- Many body pain and body issues are associated with negative or limiting beliefs that are buried quite literally in the body.
- They keep your nervous system on high alert by the adrenaline release related negative emotions and thoughts constantly running in your head.
- This can lead to health issues, diseases, and mental health issues, such as reoccurring body pain that does not resolve, anxiety and depression.
- Constantly beating yourself up strengthens the feelings of guilt and shame, reinforcing the self-belief of not being good enough and affecting all areas of your life.
- Staying stuck in the past prevents you from moving forward, expanding and opening to new possibilities. While also learning valuable lessons.
- Re-live what you’ve done over and over, and wishing things were different
- Find it hard to let go of the decision you have made
- Keep yourself paralyzed by your past
- Verbally abuse yourself, and holding it deeply within your body
- Have feelings of "not good enough", less than or unworthy
- Stay anxious and afraid, unable to take healthy steps forward
To your health & well-being,

The event at the Capitol of the USA caused me some upset that has kept me from being able to ground and think clearly at times. I have experienced bouts of edginess; feeling unsettled and unanchored. My usually calm and centered husband has also been feeling anxious and disturbed.
How have you been feeling?
How are you allowing yourself to be with the events currently happening around you, whether caused by pandemic, the political unrest, or your personal situation at home?
How is this all impacted your body psyche?
When it looked as though the Capitol of the USA was about to be taken over, and in the aftermath, I was thankful for my ability to call on my body-centered processes to ground and calm me.
There is one practice in particular that I would like to share with you today. It is a beautiful process to find your soul word . I was guided in this process during a new year virtual retreat that I participated/facilitated in.
My word for 2021 is REST.
When the word first came to me, I wondered, “What does that mean?” I wasn’t sure what to do with it.
So, I did exactly what I guide others to do: I sat with the word REST. I didn’t judge it. I simply held it in my field.
23 days later the word and its meaning are still evolving. I am delighted, excited, curious, and understanding more and more how important this word is for me.
The word REST is not only literal – stopping, taking a breath, not doing that extra thing – but also an acronym:
R: Receive and rejuvenate
E: Expand into receiving the mystical and unmanifest
S: Support from the grounding earth and surrendering to the truth
T: Be Thankful, grateful and appreciative
As I said, this word has evolved and will continue to shift as I keep it close to me and rest into it during the year. I am curious where it will lead me!
Would you like to find your soul word for the year?
I shared the soul word meditation with my Tuesday evening meditation group last week and have included it below.
This is now my practice for my new year intentions --which have always been a struggle for me.
Just one word, for the year, to be my guide, to walk with me, to share my year in my experiences. It is my guiding light, my reference point, my support for 2021.
My soul word and me.

This
pandemic has caused many of us to spend too much time thinking
about, talking about, and wallowing in the bad.
Professionally, I got a mighty shove out into the virtual world. I was inspired and motivated to start a Body Centering Meditation class (on Tuesday nights), and from those classes start my introductory training workshop, The Fundamentals of Body-Centered Medicine. Something I have wanted to create for a few years now. I also took my Thursday morning somatic movement class online and have been doing webinars and workshops for other organizations. All of this has been a huge learning curve, and yet I feel deep gratitude and appreciation for this opportunity to have a greater reach. For my clients, the positives of 2020 have been equally astounding.
50-year-old teacher and mother who abhorred technology:
Many blessings, |

I’m hearing this from a lot of my clients, friends and family. And I certainly feel it. Can you relate?
Many of the pastimes I used to enjoy remain unavailable. Going to the theatre, entertaining (I love having friends over), traveling, walking in our local canyon (you now have to make a reservation), or even just shopping! I am sure you are feeling the same, yes?
I really miss going to the store to browse. These days it is in-and-out. I just get the essentials… and leave the fun behind. I’m a bit bored with some of my clothes and the part of me that enjoys wandering through the store taking it all in is not happy.
I am a touchy-feely person particularly when I am buying something, such as recently we needed new patio furniture. Normally I would sit on the patio chair set (yes, every single chair) before I buy. Or I want to see the color of the accent pillows against the chairs and try a few different combinations. This is a fun and creative endeavor for me and internet shopping doesn’t satisfy the same need. In fact, shopping online is often confusing and numbing – it feels like work - although I know that might not be the same for you.
So the question remains: Where is the fun?
While contemplating this question recently, I remembered that the month of November is about gratitude. When I practice gratitude I tend to move easily into acceptance.
Acceptance is an active process. It asks that you embrace what is, rather than focusing on what isn’t. Acceptance requires patience. When you are able to be still in the moment and receive, you’re in a very powerful place.
By practicing gratitude and acceptance you give yourself a choice . You are able to embrace the situation and then choose if you want to embrace it further or reject the present reality and make a change. It is a transformational process.
So what does this have to do with fun right now?
As I move into acceptance and gratitude for what is present right now I am able to find the things that bring me joy, explore my creativity, and release what isn’t serving me. This perspective shift allows me to find freedom and joy in places I’d forgotten existed.
I have already found so much enjoyment in my personal movement practice, by working in my garden, reading wonderful new books, and by deepening my commitment to my own writing. The list continues to grow.
Will you join me in exploring new ways to feed yourself with fun?
Ask "What brings me joy NOW, what juices me TODAY, what fills me up IN THIS PRESENT WAY of life?"
When you take the time to sit with this question, you get to know yourself better and develop the gratitude and acceptance necessary to rediscover joy.
With love and gratitude for you choosing to be a part of my community and allowing me to share my thoughts with you each month.

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