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Committing to yourself can be challenging, especially it feels like a burden or an obligation. It can also feel more like a trap than a choice, but as Paulo Coelho states in The Zahir: “Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose – and commit myself to – what is best for me.”
Committing to oneself requires resolve and inner strength. If you want to get more out of your life, and to feel the freedom that is available, it's important to understand what true commitment is, and how to activate it.
For most of us it’s easier to commit to others, to turn up for others and be there for others, but not for ourselves in the same dedicated way. I had a client recently that had a session booked with me, that he missed. Why? Because he was gifting his time to someone else, for many more hours than he had originally offered. The result was a significant increase in his pain. He didn’t keep his commitment to himself, he did not set a boundary on his own time, and he made someone else more important than himself.
Does any of this sound familiar? Do you push your own needs back, or forget about them , for the benefit of someone else?
We are often raised to prioritize duty and service for taking care of others first. When we get to a point where we should do something meaningful for ourselves, we can come up against resistance in activating our commitment. You may feel selfish, guilty, not important enough, or totally forget about taking care of yourself to do what you promised yourself to do.
What does it feel like when you haven't been true to yourself? You've said yes when you wanted to say No! Or you did something you really don't feel good about, just to please someone else. Or you didn’t follow through on a commitment you made, such as to: not eat that sweet dessert, or do the walk you planned, or ask for help.
When you are able to activate the commitment you have made, it aligns you with your inner truth and to yourself emotionally and psychologically.Committing to yourself is empowering, it is self-support, and it connects you to your inner strength. It means you are listening to and following your inner guidance.
When committing to yourself, you:
- become more intentional in your life and decision-making
- develop loving honesty with yourself
- pursue efforts that support and uplift you
- feel more confident and achieve more with ease
- have more presence, calm, and loving acceptance for yourself
Activating a commitment shows how much you value yourself. It also demonstrates that:
- You value yourself
- You respect yourself
- You appreciate your life
- You feel worthy
- You love yourself
Take a few minutes to think about your commitment level to yourself.
What commitment have you made that you need to activate today?
Where do you feel that in your body?
How to you hold commitment inside of you, other than in your head?
How can you ground in that commitment in your body NOW!
To your health & well-being,![](https://lirp.cdn-website.com/md/pexels/dms3rep/multi/opt/flower-garden-blue-sky-hokkaido-japan-60628-1920w.jpeg)
Do you ever feel like there is an internal struggle going on inside of yourself? You're trying to move forward but feel some kind of block? As if there is a constant push/pull that you cannot get away from making you want to yell "ENOUGH!!"
Did you know that there is a place inside of you where peace , calm and quiet await you, far from the confusion and chaos of your struggles. A place where you can rest , sink in and feel relief.
Finding this place initially is challenging mostly because we are unaware of its existence.
As you discover and bring awareness to this place inside you will get a sense of something deeper …. you start to awaken to your inner wisdom.
This awakening starts by feeling beyond the struggle of the ‘selves’…. inviting the wisdom and intelligence of the body to “speak”.
Awakening by definition means: to become more aware of; to attend to that which nurtures you; to connect to spirit, to the sacred, to your inner self; to expand into something beyond your present consciousness.![](https://lirp.cdn-website.com/md/dmip/dms3rep/multi/opt/white-flowers-bloom-spring-1920w.jpg)
Did you know that by harboring feelings such as guilt, shame, anger, regret, disappointment, blame to name a few, affects your emotional, mental and physical health deeply.
On Conversations Connecting to a Healthier You podcast with Debi Carlyn Boyle, I discuss Self Forgiveness and the power of its healing ability. I take you through the steps that will allow you to work your own process of releasing emotions that are caught in your body causing you pain.
Here are some interesting things about stored, unwanted emotions in the body:
- Many body pain and body issues are associated with negative or limiting beliefs that are buried quite literally in the body.
- They keep your nervous system on high alert by the adrenaline release related negative emotions and thoughts constantly running in your head.
- This can lead to health issues, diseases, and mental health issues, such as reoccurring body pain that does not resolve, anxiety and depression.
- Constantly beating yourself up strengthens the feelings of guilt and shame, reinforcing the self-belief of not being good enough and affecting all areas of your life.
- Staying stuck in the past prevents you from moving forward, expanding and opening to new possibilities. While also learning valuable lessons.
- Re-live what you’ve done over and over, and wishing things were different
- Find it hard to let go of the decision you have made
- Keep yourself paralyzed by your past
- Verbally abuse yourself, and holding it deeply within your body
- Have feelings of "not good enough", less than or unworthy
- Stay anxious and afraid, unable to take healthy steps forward
To your health & well-being,
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The event at the Capitol of the USA caused me some upset that has kept me from being able to ground and think clearly at times. I have experienced bouts of edginess; feeling unsettled and unanchored. My usually calm and centered husband has also been feeling anxious and disturbed.
How have you been feeling?
How are you allowing yourself to be with the events currently happening around you, whether caused by pandemic, the political unrest, or your personal situation at home?
How is this all impacted your body psyche?
When it looked as though the Capitol of the USA was about to be taken over, and in the aftermath, I was thankful for my ability to call on my body-centered processes to ground and calm me.
There is one practice in particular that I would like to share with you today. It is a beautiful process to find your soul word . I was guided in this process during a new year virtual retreat that I participated/facilitated in.
My word for 2021 is REST.
When the word first came to me, I wondered, “What does that mean?” I wasn’t sure what to do with it.
So, I did exactly what I guide others to do: I sat with the word REST. I didn’t judge it. I simply held it in my field.
23 days later the word and its meaning are still evolving. I am delighted, excited, curious, and understanding more and more how important this word is for me.
The word REST is not only literal – stopping, taking a breath, not doing that extra thing – but also an acronym:
R: Receive and rejuvenate
E: Expand into receiving the mystical and unmanifest
S: Support from the grounding earth and surrendering to the truth
T: Be Thankful, grateful and appreciative
As I said, this word has evolved and will continue to shift as I keep it close to me and rest into it during the year. I am curious where it will lead me!
Would you like to find your soul word for the year?
I shared the soul word meditation with my Tuesday evening meditation group last week and have included it below.
This is now my practice for my new year intentions --which have always been a struggle for me.
Just one word, for the year, to be my guide, to walk with me, to share my year in my experiences. It is my guiding light, my reference point, my support for 2021.
My soul word and me.
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This
pandemic has caused many of us to spend too much time thinking
about, talking about, and wallowing in the bad.
Professionally, I got a mighty shove out into the virtual world. I was inspired and motivated to start a Body Centering Meditation class (on Tuesday nights), and from those classes start my introductory training workshop, The Fundamentals of Body-Centered Medicine. Something I have wanted to create for a few years now. I also took my Thursday morning somatic movement class online and have been doing webinars and workshops for other organizations. All of this has been a huge learning curve, and yet I feel deep gratitude and appreciation for this opportunity to have a greater reach. For my clients, the positives of 2020 have been equally astounding.
50-year-old teacher and mother who abhorred technology:
Many blessings, |
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I’m hearing this from a lot of my clients, friends and family. And I certainly feel it. Can you relate?
Many of the pastimes I used to enjoy remain unavailable. Going to the theatre, entertaining (I love having friends over), traveling, walking in our local canyon (you now have to make a reservation), or even just shopping! I am sure you are feeling the same, yes?
I really miss going to the store to browse. These days it is in-and-out. I just get the essentials… and leave the fun behind. I’m a bit bored with some of my clothes and the part of me that enjoys wandering through the store taking it all in is not happy.
I am a touchy-feely person particularly when I am buying something, such as recently we needed new patio furniture. Normally I would sit on the patio chair set (yes, every single chair) before I buy. Or I want to see the color of the accent pillows against the chairs and try a few different combinations. This is a fun and creative endeavor for me and internet shopping doesn’t satisfy the same need. In fact, shopping online is often confusing and numbing – it feels like work - although I know that might not be the same for you.
So the question remains: Where is the fun?
While contemplating this question recently, I remembered that the month of November is about gratitude. When I practice gratitude I tend to move easily into acceptance.
Acceptance is an active process. It asks that you embrace what is, rather than focusing on what isn’t. Acceptance requires patience. When you are able to be still in the moment and receive, you’re in a very powerful place.
By practicing gratitude and acceptance you give yourself a choice . You are able to embrace the situation and then choose if you want to embrace it further or reject the present reality and make a change. It is a transformational process.
So what does this have to do with fun right now?
As I move into acceptance and gratitude for what is present right now I am able to find the things that bring me joy, explore my creativity, and release what isn’t serving me. This perspective shift allows me to find freedom and joy in places I’d forgotten existed.
I have already found so much enjoyment in my personal movement practice, by working in my garden, reading wonderful new books, and by deepening my commitment to my own writing. The list continues to grow.
Will you join me in exploring new ways to feed yourself with fun?
Ask "What brings me joy NOW, what juices me TODAY, what fills me up IN THIS PRESENT WAY of life?"
When you take the time to sit with this question, you get to know yourself better and develop the gratitude and acceptance necessary to rediscover joy.
With love and gratitude for you choosing to be a part of my community and allowing me to share my thoughts with you each month.
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