Old Wiring

  • By Tarnie Fulloon
  • 17 Sep, 2014
This week I am finding a revealing analogy between the hidden old-wiring in my house and the difficult issues we tend to push down and hide within ourselves.Take a look at this video and as always, I absolutely love hearing from you and sharing what this brings up for you.

By Tarnie Fulloon 21 Jun, 2022
If I asked you “Are you Thriving?” what would you say? What feeling does that evoke in you?
By Tarnie Fulloon 10 May, 2022

Committing to yourself can be challenging, especially it feels like a burden or an obligation. It can also feel more like a trap than a choice, but as Paulo Coelho states in The Zahir:  “Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose – and commit myself to – what is best for me.”

Committing to oneself requires resolve and inner strength. If you want to get more out of your life, and to feel the freedom that is available, it's important to understand what true commitment is, and how to activate it.

For most of us it’s easier to commit to others, to turn up for others and be there for others, but not for ourselves in the same dedicated way. I had a client recently that had a session booked with me, that he missed. Why? Because he was gifting his time to someone else, for many more hours than he had originally offered. The result was a significant increase in his pain. He didn’t keep his commitment to himself, he did not set a boundary on his own time, and he made someone else more important than himself.

Does any of this sound familiar?  Do you push your own needs back, or forget about them , for the benefit of someone else?

We are often  raised to prioritize duty and service  for taking care of others first. When we get to a point where we should do something meaningful for ourselves, we can come up against resistance in activating our commitment. You may feel selfish, guilty, not important enough, or totally forget about taking care of yourself to do what you promised yourself to do.

What does it feel like when you haven't been true to yourself?  You've said yes when you wanted to say No! Or you did something you really don't feel good about, just to please someone else. Or you didn’t follow through on a commitment you made, such as to: not eat that sweet dessert, or do the walk you planned, or ask for help.

When  you are able to activate the commitment you have made, it aligns you with your inner truth and to yourself emotionally and psychologically.Committing to yourself is empowering,  it is self-support, and it connects you to your inner strength. It means you are listening to and following your inner guidance.

When committing to yourself, you:

  • become more intentional in your life and decision-making
  • develop loving honesty with yourself
  • pursue efforts that support and uplift you
  • feel more confident and achieve more with ease
  • have more presence, calm, and loving acceptance for yourself

Activating a commitment shows how much you value yourself. It also demonstrates that: 

  • You value yourself
  • You respect yourself
  • You appreciate your life
  • You feel worthy
  • You love yourself

Take a few minutes to think about your commitment level to yourself. 

What commitment have you made that you need to activate today?

Where do you feel that in your body?

How to you hold commitment inside of you, other than in your head?

How can you ground in that commitment in your body NOW!

To your health & well-being,

By Tarnie Fulloon 14 Mar, 2022

Do you ever feel like there is an   internal struggle   going on inside of yourself? You're trying to   move forward   but feel some kind of block? As if there is a constant push/pull that you cannot get away from making   you want to yell "ENOUGH!!"

Did you know that   there is a place inside of you where peace , calm and quiet await you, far from the confusion and chaos of your struggles. A   place where you can rest , sink in and feel relief.

Finding this place initially is challenging mostly because we are unaware of its existence.

As you discover and bring awareness to this place inside you will get a sense of something deeper ….   you start to awaken to your inner wisdom.

This awakening starts by feeling beyond the struggle of the ‘selves’…. inviting the wisdom and intelligence of the body to “speak”.

Awakening by definition means: to become more aware of; to attend to that which nurtures you; to connect to spirit, to the sacred, to your inner self; to expand into something beyond your present consciousness.
By Tarnie Fulloon 26 Apr, 2021
Research has shown that those who practice self-forgiveness have better mental and emotional well-being, more positive attitudes and healthier relationships. It is a way of shifting and releasing the negativity or limiting thoughts that get imbedded in your psyche and your body.

Did you know that by harboring feelings such as guilt, shame, anger, regret, disappointment, blame to name a few, affects your emotional, mental and physical health deeply.

On Conversations Connecting to a Healthier You podcast with Debi Carlyn Boyle, I discuss Self Forgiveness and the power of its healing ability. I take you through the steps that will allow you to work your own process of releasing emotions that are caught in your body causing you pain.

Here are some interesting things about stored, unwanted emotions in the body:
  • Many body pain and body issues are associated with negative or limiting beliefs that are buried quite literally in the body.
  • They keep your nervous system on high alert by the adrenaline release related negative emotions and thoughts constantly running in your head.
  • This can lead to health issues, diseases, and mental health issues, such as reoccurring body pain that does not resolve, anxiety and depression.
  • Constantly beating yourself up strengthens the feelings of guilt and shame, reinforcing the self-belief of not being good enough and affecting all areas of your life.
  • Staying stuck in the past prevents you from moving forward, expanding and opening to new possibilities. While also learning valuable lessons.
Self Forgiveness is an important process to practice if you:
  • Re-live what you’ve done over and over, and wishing things were different
  • Find it hard to let go of the decision you have made
  • Keep yourself paralyzed by your past
  • Verbally abuse yourself, and holding it deeply within your body
  • Have feelings of "not good enough", less than or unworthy
  • Stay anxious and afraid, unable to take healthy steps forward
Please reach out to me with any questions, or to discuss the process of self-forgiveness and healing,

To your health & well-being,
By Tarnie Fulloon 23 Jan, 2021
I don’t know about you, but I have been feeling very “jangled” these past few weeks. To be honest, that feeling has been with me for the past 10 months with all the changes in my lifestyle.

The event at the Capitol of the USA caused me some upset that has kept me from being able to ground and think clearly at times. I have experienced bouts of edginess; feeling unsettled and unanchored. My usually calm and centered husband has also been feeling anxious and disturbed.  

How have you been feeling?  

How are you allowing yourself to be with the events currently happening around you, whether caused by pandemic, the political unrest, or your personal situation at home?  

How is this all impacted your body psyche?  

When it looked as though the Capitol of the USA was about to be taken over, and in the aftermath, I was thankful for my ability to call on my body-centered processes to ground and calm me.  

There is one practice in particular that I would like to share with you today.   It is a beautiful process to   find your soul word . I was guided in this process during a new year virtual retreat that I participated/facilitated in.

My word for 2021 is REST.

When the word first came to me, I wondered, “What does that mean?” I wasn’t sure what to do with it.

So, I did exactly what I guide others to do:   I sat with the word REST.   I didn’t judge it. I simply held it in my field.  

23 days later the word and its meaning are still evolving. I am delighted, excited, curious, and understanding more and more how important this word is for me.

The word REST is not only literal   – stopping, taking a breath, not doing that extra thing – but also an acronym:

R:   Receive and rejuvenate
E:   Expand into receiving the mystical and unmanifest
S:   Support from the grounding earth and surrendering to the truth
T:   Be Thankful, grateful and appreciative

As I said, this word has evolved and will continue to shift as I keep it close to me and rest into it during the year. I am curious where it will lead me!  

Would you like to find your soul word for the year?

I shared the soul word meditation with my Tuesday evening meditation group last week and have included it below.  

This is now my practice for my new year intentions --which have always been a struggle for me.

Just one word, for the year, to be my guide, to walk with me, to share my year in my experiences. It is my guiding light, my reference point, my support for 2021.

My soul word and me.
By Tarnie Fulloon 15 Dec, 2020

This pandemic has caused many of us to spend too much time thinking about, talking about, and wallowing in the bad.

It has awakened old trauma wounds and created anxiety (even terror) especially around health and wellbeing.

It has raised feelings of distrust and avoidance. There’s no way to know who has the virus. You may have wondered at times, “Can I trust the person standing six feet away?” That wondering creates and highlights a lack of connection.

However, this strange time has also forced many of us to shift our habits. And in some cases, that disruption has been a good thing. It has stimulated change and encouraged us to break old patterns that no longer serve us.

Over the last nine months, I have seen, witnessed, and experienced many people – myself included – take the time to re-evaluate all aspects of life: work, relationships, internal dialogue, how we organize our home (many cupboards have been cleaned out!), and what we truly value.

Yes, this year has been hard, but you can choose to find other ways of looking at 2020.

Embrace the Positive and Find the Joy
As I sat by my warm fireplace on my comfy couch the other night, with the light fading in my backyard, I started to reflect on 2020.

What did I want to create in 2021, and also what could I celebrate, be thankful for, and embrace in 2020? Where was the positive?

As I dropped into my body and listened actively within , many wonderful and insightful things came forward.

Would you be willing to try this?

  • Find a space that feels restful and quiet. 
  • Move your attention into your body. 
  • Allow yourself to float your attention over 2020 and bring forward the question, “What was the goodness for me in 2020?
  • Where was I nourished, and what was positive about this year?
  • Drop into your feeling body and allow the goodness to come forward.
  • Voice what comes up for you out loud or write it down.
  • Allow the good to take hold in your body and soul, so you really feel, embrace, and inhabit the truth of it.
Here’s what I discovered: I have enjoyed the time at home, to be with the delights of my environment and surroundings. My husband and I have found we do well in the same space day after day, and the circumstances have created a new way of being together that is deeply nourishing and rewarding.

Professionally, I got a mighty shove out into the virtual world. I was inspired and motivated to start a Body Centering Meditation class (on Tuesday nights), and from those classes start my introductory training workshop, The Fundamentals of Body-Centered Medicine. Something I have wanted to create for a few years now. I also took my Thursday morning somatic movement class online and have been doing webinars and workshops for other organizations. All of this has been a huge learning curve, and yet I feel deep gratitude and appreciation for this opportunity to have a greater reach.

For my clients, the positives of 2020 have been equally astounding.

50-year-old teacher and mother who abhorred technology:

  • “I never thought I would embrace technology like I have this year. Attending my own father’s funeral virtually was the only option I had and I am so grateful. I now am fully embracing it in my work and personally”.
Young vibrant law student from Chicago:
  • “I have time to get to know me. It has been so freeing to spend time at home away from the social pressures of how I should be. I have let go of so much of the shaming and judging voice that used to hammer at me”
Fit and healthy runner and research scientist:
  • “I loved the first few months of not seeing people, as I am not good with socializing. I have come to see the value in gatherings and sharing with others. It has been quite a shift for me.”
I’d love to know what comes up for you as you explore the profound experiences of this year and prepare for the next. 

Many blessings,

By Tarnie Fulloon 09 Nov, 2020
With the pandemic rearing its ugly head again in many countries of the world, the US elections such a close call, and COVID fatigue becoming especially prominent as we head towards the holiday season, all the fun seems to have gone out of life.

I’m hearing this from a lot of my clients, friends and family. And I certainly feel it. Can you relate?

Many of the pastimes I used to enjoy remain unavailable. Going to the theatre, entertaining (I love having friends over), traveling, walking in our local canyon (you now have to make a reservation), or even just shopping! I am sure you are feeling the same, yes?

I really miss going to the store to browse. These days it is in-and-out. I just get the essentials… and leave the fun behind. I’m a bit bored with some of my clothes and the part of me that enjoys wandering through the store taking it all in is not happy.

I am a touchy-feely person particularly when I am buying something, such as recently we needed new patio furniture. Normally I would sit on the patio chair set (yes, every single chair) before I buy. Or I want to see the color of the accent pillows against the chairs and try a few different combinations. This is a fun and creative endeavor for me and internet shopping doesn’t satisfy the same need. In fact, shopping online is often confusing and numbing – it feels like work - although I know that might not be the same for you.

So the question remains: Where is the fun?

While contemplating this question recently, I remembered that the month of November is about gratitude. When I practice gratitude I tend to move easily into acceptance.

Acceptance is an active process. It asks that you embrace what is, rather than focusing on what isn’t. Acceptance requires patience. When you are able to be still in the moment and receive, you’re in a very powerful place.

By practicing gratitude and acceptance you give yourself a choice . You are able to embrace the situation and then choose if you want to embrace it further or reject the present reality and make a change. It is a transformational process.

So what does this have to do with fun right now?

As I move into acceptance and gratitude for what is present right now I am able to find the things that bring me joy, explore my creativity, and release what isn’t serving me. This perspective shift allows me to find freedom and joy in places I’d forgotten existed.

I have already found so much enjoyment in my personal movement practice, by working in my garden, reading wonderful new books, and by deepening my commitment to my own writing. The list continues to grow.

Will you join me in exploring new ways to feed yourself with fun?

Ask "What brings me joy NOW, what juices me TODAY, what fills me up IN THIS PRESENT WAY of life?"

When you take the time to sit with this question, you get to know yourself better and develop the gratitude and acceptance necessary to rediscover joy.

With love and gratitude for you choosing to be a part of my community and allowing me to share my thoughts with you each month.
By Tarnie Fulloon 24 Oct, 2020

Since October 2019, I have sat down at 5 pm for 2 hours with a group of 8 women to write each week. After a 5-minute meditation, our teacher Bella Mayer Carter, gives us a list of writing prompts that we spend 30 minutes writing from. We read what we have written and receive positive feedback and support from our fellow writers one by one. When it is my turn to share, I take a deep breath, push my inner critic aside, and read my uncensored, unfiltered, unedited free-form writing. It is always uncomfortable, sometimes emotional, yet always a safe and supportive environment. I am not alone in this, as I have learned, as each one of us courageously takes our turn. Without fail, it is always inspirational to hear what each of us has written. Below is inspired by what I wrote last week and encouraged by the group to share with you.
………..

Right now, the world is struggling. The pandemic, the political unrest, the climate changes, and the lockdowns make it hard for me sometimes to find myself and differentiate my anxiety, chaos, and upset from that of the collective.

You might also be aware, as I am, that when you continually fight against what is being thrust at you by the news, you find it overly draining, unsettling, disruptive, and yes, scary. The fear that is activated also connects to the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness of the situation.

I wonder if you get caught up in other energies around you, pulled into the unrest rumbling about like a boat about to tip over? This stress then reverberates in your body and makes you more reactive, less settled, more vulnerable, potentially affecting your health (immune system), and well-being. A vicious cycle, for sure, affecting all of us in some way consciously or unconsciously.

Despite all of this unrest, I am unwilling to accept that we cannot find peace.

I embrace that we, as a people, as a community, as a world collective, can come together. Just as it’s possible to work things out, find common ground, and design solutions with our friends and families, can we do the same work globally?

If you then take the principle that your inner and outer realities reflect each other, are you willing to accept that you can find a peaceful place inside yourself?

Would you join me in a new belief that I work on daily?

“I am choosing to fully support the part of me that longs for peace, to feel safe and supported. Letting go of the thoughts that keep me in my fears.”

I know this can be incredibly difficult if you have grown up and perfected the critical inner voice. This voice often feeds the feeling of self-doubt, lack of self-confidence, and "not good enough."


When you can find a sense of belonging inside, you can rest into yourself and feel, right now at this moment, that you are enough. Would you be willing to try this daily and let it be your contribution and a way to be of service on a vibrational level?

By Tarnie Fulloon 19 Sep, 2020

It seems the onslaught just keeps coming and I say to myself  “when will it stop!!!”
I am also hearing from my clients:

“I have more pain; my old pains are flaring up”
“I am not sleeping well”
“My mind keeps thinking of disastrous things”
“I am not happy”
“This is such a tough time right now”

How are you managing through this present time? Do you feel you cannot get a break?

Certainly, in California things here are challenging, especially as the fires are threatening our homes in my area. My husband and I are in the Evacuation Warning Zone right now so have our essential things packed, our windows and doors shut tight trying to keep out the outrageously bad smoke, and our cars are ready to leave. We hear the water planes and helicopters flying overhead knowing the fire is encroaching. It is not easy right now and there are many neighbors who have it much, much harder than us.

When we as human beings are threatened and stressed, our nervous systems get jangled, our muscles tighten and contract, our mind races often with negative thoughts and it becomes tough to feel calm and stay hopeful. With the stressors, like current events happening, the anxious body becomes more agitated and the physical body pain increase.

Fear is a part of the normal range of feelings we experience as humans, however right now that is heightened and because as a culture we view fear and pain as negative, the natural learned reaction is to push it down, ignore, or judge as bad, which ultimately magnifies it.

You have read or heard me say often “turn towards the fear or pain and embrace it”.

Easier said than done, especially when it is amplified, and especially right now as the energy seems to being intensifying.

A few weeks ago as we meditated on surrender and acceptance in my Tuesday weekly mediation  group what I shared was “When recognizing that I have some dominion over what I am feeling and experiencing I then have the ability to understand and invite letting go and healing”.

This means letting go of the control of “holding on” or letting go of resisting.
I personally know this is not easy! You may be afraid to go into your body, not wanting to move towards your feelings, I understand.

Another Client said recently:
“It does not take much to feel better. I have to start doing this bit by bit.  I keep forgetting and let the busyness of life take over.  Doing something daily is the best, like cleaning your teeth, and then I don’t forget”.

What can you do today? Try one or all of these:

  • Shift your awareness to surrender (letting go of control). True Surrender is about grounding, strengthening, and connecting leading you to a place of peacefulness and calm. Try finding this place deep within your lower belly if you can.
  • Try loosening the reins , not holding on so tightly. Allow yourself to feel your anxiety and/or pain and listen to the deeper whisper within underneath your pain and/or anxiety.
  • Sense where the contraction or tightness is present and give it some breath and attention. Sit with it without trying to change it.

Remember when you take time to do these body centering processes you are assisting in your physical health and mental well-being.
  • you are boosting your immune system
  • calming your nervous system
  • lessening the mind chatter and dominating negative thinking,
  • and you are revitalizing and refueling your system

Sending blessings and love through this time,
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